I just found this post in my drafts, and I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or go have a drink even though it's only 7:00 in the morning. I wrote it when Claire (now 10) was
six.
Claire has not veered from this approach at any point during the intervening four years. In fact, she may be the only child in the history of the Curley K-8 who has been sent to the principal's office for reading. No joke.
Spring 2008. Let's just be honest about one of my primary failings as a mother: my six-year-old's utter refusal to cooperate with instructions that don't mesh perfectly with her own plans. This can be a challenge when the child is, say,
at school and the teacher suggests some radical thing like
coming to circle time. Or
doing math. Or
going to art. Or, basically, doing any activity in the universe that is different from reading a book.
Claire's Recipe for Success (Self-Defined) in the Classroom
The preferred methodology is as follows:
1. Begin to a read book, regardless of whether it is reading time.
2. Ignore any instruction from your teacher. Requests like, "Claire, can you please join us?" or "Claire, it's time to stop reading" should be particularly disregarded.
3. Continue to read.
4. If your entire class does something -- like gets in a circle or forms a line to leave the classroom -- do not move. Continue to read.
5. If your teacher walks right up to you and gives any directive (other than "Please keep reading"), hold your ground. Do not make eye contact, and do not respond. Continue to read.
6. If your teacher gently tries to remove the book from your hands, clutch it desperately to your chest and do not let go. Stare intently at the floor while grasping the book with every fibre of your being. The teacher may retrieve the book only by destroying it. (Trust me, she will give up before she tears up a book.)
7. If necessary, try to hide somewhere in the classroom. This is an option of last resort, but it's influence is not to be underestimated. Do not be disuaded by the fact that the entire classroom is actually visible to the teacher and has no real hiding places. Go for something like crawling under a desk or sitting on the floor behind an easel. You may have to lie on the floor in a dead-weight manner.
8. Do not let go of the book during any part of Step 7.
Last month Margot emailed me this picture, along with the following text:
I'd just finished lecturing Claire and Margot about their near-chronic arguing. (Actually, it was more of a pull-the-car-over-and-scream kind of "lecture.") I began driving again as we all sat in aggravated/angry silence. Jane, who had been quiet through the entire incident, piped up:
The girls' school serves breakfast in the classroom every morning. The fact that we eat breakfast at home has not remotely deterred them from also eating school breakfast. The eating of Second Breakfast has become a routine topic of conversation.
This weekend we went out to lunch with friends - children were at one end of the (long) table; adults were at the other. I heard Claire practically shout the word "penis."
This drawing by Margot was captioned "Claire is an Angry Pig." It might be a follow up on this (slightly more detailed) written report.
Cat Girl
