Sunday, October 30, 2016

What's In A Name?

Jane (glancing at her phone):  "I've named you Spawn Point."

Me:  "What??"

Jane:  "Spawn Point.  In my contacts."

Me:  "That doesn't sound very nice."

Jane:  "No; I mean it in the most affectionate way. You know, since you spawned me."

Me: [Silence]

Monday, April 25, 2016

Graphs

Margot was up late working on some pre-algebra graphs last night.  I offered the below assistance, which she failed to appreciate.


Sunday, February 14, 2016

A Film of Enduring Value


The other day, we were discussing the Zika virus, and I used the term "birth control":

Jane:  "What is birth control?"
Me:  "It means doing things so that a woman doesn't get pregnant after having sex."
Jane:  "So, is a condom birth control?"
Me:  "Yes, exactly."
Margot:  "Jane, you don't even know what a condom is."
Jane: "Margot!  Of course I do.  I've seen The Blues Brothers."

Don's belief in the value of letting small children watch this film is yet again confirmed.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Eye of the Beholder


Last Sunday, we were on our way to the ice skating rink.  Although we arrived several hours before open skating was set to end, we saw people streaming out of the rink, and some kids shouted to us, "They're closing early!"  When I asked why, I got the response, "Super Bowl!"

Margot:  "What did she say?"
Me: "She said they're closing early because of the Super Bowl."
Jane:  "The WHAT?"
Me:  "The Super Bowl."
Jane & Margot (simultaneously):  "What is it?"
Me:  "A football game that decides the national champion."
Margot:  "Ridiculous.  No one cares about that."

The sports IQ at 9 Park Lane holds steady as we head into 2016.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

What I Do All Day


The girls' understanding of my professional skill set remains somewhat narrow.  Today's exchange:


Me:  "I love you.  Have a great day!"
Margot:  "I love you, too.  Good luck sending all of your emails!"
Me:  "What?"
Margot: "You know, all of your business-y things at work.  The stuff you do all day."
Me:  "Ah.  Today we're running a leadership development program for 30 lawyers."
Margot:  "Oh.  Good luck with your program! And with any emails you have to send!"

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Difficult People

It's amazing what Margot puts up with from the people in this family.

Don
Tried to make Margot eat something "disgusting."


Jane
Was rude to Margot.






















Claire & Me
Self-explanatory.












Monday, August 17, 2015

Let's Not Over-react






Nice that she hasn't lost her flair for the dramatic.









To clarify:

Never mind - it's all good.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

In Which the Fashion Police Weigh In

We were out to dinner with our friend and his 15-year old daughter, when the topic of double-pierced ears came up.

Jane:  "Double-pierced ears are so cool.  But you have to be 13 to get them."
Me:  "I agree - double-pierced ears can be really pretty. I've thought about getting a second ear-piercing myself."
Jane [with horror]:  "Mom!  NO!! You can't do that. You cannot get double-pierced ears."
Me:  "Why not? I like them."

Jane [increasingly distraught]:  "MOM! No. That's a terrible idea!!"
Me: "What?! I don't think it's a terrible idea."
Jane:  "Mom. PLEASE. You are all business-womanish. You are not the sort of person who has double-pierced ears."
Me: [silence]
Jane:  "Mom, I'm not kidding.  It's a bad idea. It would be really inappropriate."

Three days later . . .
I'm giving Jane her cuddle at bedtime, when suddenly she blurts out, "Mom, I really do not want you to get your ears double-pierced."  I express surprise that this topic is still on her mind, and she says, "I'm really worried about it.  I've been thinking about it a lot.  Mom, please don't do it - it would be so awful."

So, I guess that's that.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

A Brush with Fame

Very significant day for Jane - who knew she was paying so much attention when the radio is on each morning?!




The day began with this inquiry from Jane - which I passed on to the appropriate parties via Twitter.








We received this delightful response.





And Jane offered her own reply to the response (while telling me:  "I can't believe he answered me!!").