Everyone Loves the Blues Brothers

Claire, circa 2007

This incident happened several years ago, and I'm not sure how I failed to document it before now.  Don and I had been having a spirited discussion about whether the girls (then aged 6, 4, and 2) could watch The Blues Brothers.  I was an adamant "no" - for the obvious reasons:  too much violence, sex, profanity, and all-around bad behavior.  (And the last thing we need around 9 Park Lane is more profanity or more sex talk.)  Don's entire opposing argument was that The Blues Brothers is "the best American musical ever" and "is full of absolutely classic blues music and performers."  I was not persuaded.

I went out of town for a rare weekend away.  When I called home after being gone for approximately 12 hours, Claire answered the phone.

Claire: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi, Claire. It's Mommy."
Claire: "Hi Mommy. We're watching the Blues Brothers."
Me: "What?! Where is Daddy?"
Claire: "He was watching it with us, but he went upstairs."
Me: "Could you get him, please?"
Claire: "Okay.  Dad? Mom wants to talk to you."
Me: [waiting]
Claire: "I think I have to go upstairs to get him."
Me: "Okay."
Claire:  "Daddy?  Mom is on the phone."
Me: [waiting]
Claire: "Dad?"
Me: [waiting]
Claire: "He isn't answering me."
Me: [waiting]
Claire: "Dad?  Mommy is on the phone.  Where the hell are you??"

Beyond the Pale

Jane, after looking around the dinner table at her sisters, me, Don, and Don's parents:

"Guys, this is SO WEIRD - everyone at this table has really light skin!"

Why You Need the iPhone 4

We were shopping for a new refrigerator at Yale Electric - a store that I love primarily because they have a roving magician. His sole job is to distract children so that their parents can spend all of their discretionary income on appliances.

Jane: "That magician has an iPhone that gives out gummy bears! You should get that iPhone."
Me: "That was a cool trick, wasn't it? But his phone doesn't really give out gummy bears."
Jane: "No, I SAW him get a gummy bear right out of it."
Me: "I know it looked like he did that, but it's actually an illusion."
Jane: "It's not a trick. He has a better iPhone than you do."
Me: "No, it's really a trick."
Jane: "No, Mommy. He has the IPHONE 4."