The Meaning of Christmas, Part III

Tonight Jane chose "The Berenstain Bears Meet Santa Bear" for her story.  In this typically sacharine Berenstain Bears tale, Sister Bear first makes a long and greedy Christmas list, but, under her brother's careful tutelage, comes to realize that Christmas is really all about giving.
This book reminded of a past debate between Claire and Margot on the topic of gift-giving - and let us just say that Margot's approach would not be well-received by Santa Bear.  As Jane and I talked, it became clear to me that Jane may be following in Margot's footsteps on this issue:

Me:  "So, what do you think about Sister Bear's list?"

Jane:  "It's not good.  It has too many things on it and Santa might think that she's greedy - then he won't bring her anything.  It's not good to be greedy."

Me:  "Right.  It's important not to be greedy.  Did this story make you think of anything else relating to gifts?"

Jane:  "Umm. . . what?"

Me:  "About what the bears did with their gifts?"

Jane:  "They asked for them?"

Me:  "Well, yes - they did ask for and get gifts.  But there's something else.  If you don't receive a gift, you . . . "

Jane:  "You cry?"

The REAL Purpose of the Blogosphere

Much to the frustration of our fashionista, the girls' school has a uniform policy.  Claire and her friends spend a fair amount of time lamenting the unfairness of the policy and assessing ways they might most effectively fight it.  Proposed resistance methods included simply not wearing a uniform (ultimately rejected as too difficult, since parents could just make the kids change into a uniform before leaving the house), or the more promising option of taking an alternate (presumably "fashionable") outfit to school and changing "after the mothers leave."

Claire recently informed me that she and her friend Lizzie (who, in Claire's words, is also "extremely fashionable") had given the matter some thought and had sadly concluded that changing clothes at school wasn't really a viable solution.  Here's why:

Claire:  "It won't work for kids to change out of their uniforms after the mothers leave."

Me:  "Really? Why not?"

Claire:  "Well, I told Lizzie that if we did that our moms would just write about it on the blog."

Me:  "Lizzie's mom doesn't have a blog."

Claire:  "No - I mean on the blog." 

Me:  "What blog?"

Claire:  "Mom!  You know what the blog is!"

Me:  "I know what my blog is - are you talking about that?"

Claire:  "No.  I'm talking about the main blog - where the moms write everything so that they all know what the kids are up to."

Don't Mess with Kit Kittredge

In which Margot achieves limited success in her efforts to harass - and, if that fails, confuse - her sisters:

Margot (in response to an unidentified affront):  "Oh, now look what you did!  Kit Kittredge is going to smack your baby."

Jane: "No, she can't.  Anyway, my baby will tell me if Kit tries to smack her."

Margot (smacking baby with Kit's hand):  "That baby can't tell you, because she can't talk."

Jane:  "Uh-huh, she can.  She will whisper in my ear, if I take her binky out."

Margot (removing binky and making fake crying noise):  "Ha!  She can't talk.  She can only fake cry."

Jane:  "Margot!  My baby will tell me, and I will tell Kit to stop it RIGHT NOW."

Margot:  "Well, Kit can't hear you.  She's not even real."

Jane:   [puzzled silence]

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

An exchange from this morning, in which Margot fails - despite significant effort - to aggravate her older sister:

Margot:  "Claire and [insert name of any 3rd grade boy] sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Claire:  "I wouldn't mind if he kissed me.  In fact, I wouldn't mind if any boy kissed me."

Margot (regrouping):  "Claire and the Loch Ness Monster, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N- . . . "

Claire:  "First, it's pronounced "lock" not "loCH."  Second, the Loch Ness Monster is a girl.  Third, it wouldn't even fit in a tree."

Margot (with exasperation):  "Claire and the Loch Ness Monster, sitting in a SWAMP, K-I-S-S-I-N-"

Claire:  "CHOMP!!"  (laughs hysterically)

Note:  to give credit where credit is due, Claire's approach here is a bit of an improvement over her prior methods for responding to provocation.

What to Wear, What to Wear?

Don handled bedtime tonight.  Here's how it went:

Don:  "Jane, take off that filthy tank top. You're not going to wear that to bed."

Jane (irritated): "Fine. I guess I'll just wear nipples to bed."

Claire on Food

Recent food-related observations by Claire.

1.  "Many a nut have I cracked."  (Announced to no one in particular, while surveying a landscape of chopped walnuts on her cutting board.)

2.  "Down we go!  We must now brave the dangers of Dad's cooking!" (To her sisters, when summoned to dinner.)

3.  "Daddy, the dessert and the amuse-bouche were delicious."  (Re: the cooking referenced in 2 above.) 

Getting the Girl

Claire's candid assessment of a boy in her class (who shall remain nameless):  "He seeks to win my love by doing favors for me."

This girl was born in the wrong century.

(Relative) Chaos

I recently walked into Claire's extremely messy room and said,  "Claire, what happened in her?  It looks like a bomb went off!"

Her immediate response?  "Mommy, it does not look like a bomb went off.  No rubble . . . no carnage."

Modern-Day Barbies

Claire:  "Margot, are your girls ready?"

Margot:  "Yes.  Here they are."

Claire:  "Ok.  These Barbies are in Legion 41."

Margot:  "What is their mission?"

Claire:  "They are leading the rebellion against Ken."

Margot [silently moves Barbies around]

Claire:  "Margot, your girls are not prepared!"

Margot:  "What do you mean?"

Claire:  "It's obvious.  They need to be trained in the Crane Kick before they can be in the rebellion."

Moral Support

Jane is - reluctantly - learning to ride her bike without using the training wheels.  Her sisters have offered varying levels of support for this endeavor.

Margot:  "Janie, when you can ride a two-wheeler, it will be so great.  You can coast down hills and it's so fun - a little bit like riding a roller coaster!"

Jane: "Really?"

Claire:  "Yes.  It's exactly like riding a roller coaster.  A fast, terrifying roller coaster that you can't control."

We Love Lindsay

Lindsay & Jane

Last fall, Claire signed up for the MSPCA's Walk for Animals, and the girls and I participated (with Ollie and Hugo, of course).  Later, we were talking about the walk, and about fundraising in general.  Although Jane lost interest after learning that you don't actually get to keep any of the money you raise, Margot was ready to plan ahead for next time:

Margot:  "Mommy, if we do the Walk for Animals again, can we all do it?  It would be more fun if there was one parent for each kid."

Me (silently puzzling over the math, given that we have three children and two parents): "Hmm.  How would that work?"

Margot:  "You know, like Claire goes with Dad, Jane goes with you, and I go with Lindsay."

Tiny Things

Claire is constantly crafting what we've come to refer to as "tiny things" - houses, furniture, food items . . . really, any item that is tiny.  A couple of weeks ago, her teacher showed me a display of tiny things on and around her desk, and explained that Claire had been making tiny things during class instead of paying attention to the lessons.  I said that I would to talk to her about it.

Me:  "Claire, Mrs. Burke tells me that you are busy making tiny things when you're supposed to be paying attention in class.  It's interfering with your schoolwork."

Claire:  "Mom.  Being required to pay attention during class is actually interfering with my ability to make tiny things."