Tea Party + Spelling

This morning Margot put out her tea set, arranging four places at the small table in her room. The invitees were a lion, a panda, and an American Girl doll (Kit Kitteredge, for those of you who care about that sort of thing). The fourth seat was for Margot, who was serving the dual role of the waitress and participant.

She then brought me the menu that she'd written out, and it was a fine example of her ongoing fearless spelling. The available items (each of which was assigned to a particular guest) were as follows:

1. meat (lion)
2. bambo (panda)
3. nottles (Kit)
4. pisti (Margot)

I'm not totally clear on the difference between noodles and pasta, but I infer that noodles (assigned to Kit) is the more childish of the two.

Claire, in a not-unusual demonstration of perceived intellectual superiority, took one look at the menu and began howling with laughter. She was torn as to whether "nottles" or "pisti" merited greater derision, but ultimately concluded that "bambo" was the real gem here. She proceeded to offer up completely unsupportive comments like, "BamBO?! What is bamBO?! That's not even a word!", followed by a sort of evil cackle. Sort of an impressive display of self-confidence, when you consider that this blistering critique is coming from a child who still insists on pronouncing "discipline" with a hard "c."

Wow, They DO Listen to Me (Sometimes)

Claire: "Daddy, are those clean boxers you're wearing?"
Don: "Um, yes. Why do you ask?"
Claire: "Well . . . Mom seems really concerned about everyone wearing clean underwear."

Build Your Vocabulary, Jane-Style!

Jane is on a roll with this week's new (erroneous) vocab additions. Highlights:

• Fake Noodles. After several requests for this baffling item, I finally asked Jane to show me where the "fake noodles" were. She led me to our pantry shelf and pointed to a cookie dish full of FIG NEWTONS.
• Wrascalin'. This is a combo of "rascal" and "wrestling." As in, "Mommy, the puppies are wrascalin' again!" (Note the dropped "g," which is undoubtedly an homage to her West Virginia heritage.
• Pokey-tot. Hint: this one is pattern-related. "Mommy, I want to bring the baby in the pokey-tot pajamas." Get it? Polka dot.
  

Sisterly Love

Margot's 6th Birthday

This morning's exchange:

Claire: "Margot, why do you talk all the time even when nobody is listening?"

Margot: "Because. I just like the way my voice sounds."

Quote of the Day

Margot: "Why don't kids just invite Santa to their birthday parties? They'd get tons more presents."

It is surely no coincidence that this occurred to her two days before her own birthday, which is this Friday.

The Evil Influence of "Bad Cat"

This conversation took place at our house on Monday night:

Don (gesturing towards three bags stuffed with dried mushrooms on the countertop): "Look at all the great mushrooms I got in Chinatown."

SuperNanny Lindsay: "That's great. I love cooking with mushrooms. The girls especially like the stuffed ones I do."

Claire (wandering by idly and glancing over): "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in."

Yes - she actually said that: "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Where did she hear such a thing, you might wonder? As is often the case with Claire, she read it. In a book called Bad Cat. A book that any responsible parent would never let a child read, because - although it's hilarious - it is enormously, horrifically inappropriate for children.

But if you have the kind of parents who let you have Bad Cat because because someone having a yard sale in your neighborhood offers it to you for free, and because your parents' cursory examination reveals primarily that Bad Cat is full of pictures of cats (which you love), and if your parents somehow fail to notice the book's blatant warning about offensive material, and if they also don't actually read Bad Cat until it's been in your possession for . . . um . . . months, actually . . . at which point they quickly and belatedly confiscate it . . . well, then you might become the sort of seven-year-old who says things like, "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Even if you (thank god) have no idea what that actually means.

At least, we're pretty sure she has no idea what it means.

Spy Notes

Margot has supplemented her mystery notes with a new set of notes, which include her real-time recording of various events taking place at 9 Park Lane. Margot apparently now spies on the rest of us, and then records what she's observed. As with the mystery notes, translation is often required - not only to interpret the words themselves, but also to establish the proper context.

The above note contains a relatively detailed recitation of the activities of the subject (Jane), as observed by the spy (Margot). Yet, absent explanation, the significance of this document as a "spy note" might not be clear. For example, an uninformed reader may foolishly assume that a "spy" should be hidden from the view of her subject. Not so! In fact, the opposite is true: as this note demonstrates, it is entirely possible to spy on someone while sitting together in the the same room. The trick, apparently, is to pretend to play with the subject - soon enough she will be lulled into performing some noteworthy act (such as lying down and muttering.)

Fact of the Day

From Claire, on the way to day camp this morning: "Mommy, did you know that a brown dwarf is vastly smaller than the sun, yet quite a bit larger than Jupiter?"

Live and learn.

New additions to the Wiest-ette Vocab List

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Originally uploaded by Carrie Fletcher & Don Wiest

In connection with last week's Independence Day festivities, one of Jane's preschool teachers added a picture of an American flag to the class calendar. We learned about this when Jane announced that Farah had "put the Magic Flag on the calicounter."

Margot also added a new word (or, more accurately, a new useage) to the list this week. Jane was telling a relatively long story and apparently lost her train of thought, saying "it was because . . . because . . . because . . ." until Margot exclaimed, "Jane! Stop that sputtering!"

The Argument Against Keeping Jane

Margot apparently wants to return to our pre-Jane status as a family of four. The reason, however, is not one that you'd likely guess. (Hint: we think the chair is meant to be used in a lion-tamer way).

Margot: "Dad, I wish we didn't have Jane."
Don: "Why is that, Margot?"
Margot: "Well, if there were wolves in the walls, and they came through, we could each hold a leg of a chair."