This conversation took place at our house on Monday night:Don (gesturing towards three bags stuffed with dried mushrooms on the countertop): "Look at all the great mushrooms I got in Chinatown."
SuperNanny Lindsay: "That's great. I love cooking with mushrooms. The girls especially like the stuffed ones I do."
Claire (wandering by idly and glancing over): "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in."
Yes - she actually said that: "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Where did she hear such a thing, you might wonder? As is often the case with Claire, she read it. In a book called Bad Cat. A book that any responsible parent would never let a child read, because - although it's hilarious - it is enormously, horrifically inappropriate for children.
But if you have the kind of parents who let you have Bad Cat because because someone having a yard sale in your neighborhood offers it to you for free, and because your parents' cursory examination reveals primarily that Bad Cat is full of pictures of cats (which you love), and if your parents somehow fail to notice the book's blatant warning about offensive material, and if they also don't actually read Bad Cat until it's been in your possession for . . . um . . . months, actually . . . at which point they quickly and belatedly confiscate it . . . well, then you might become the sort of seven-year-old who says things like, "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Even if you (thank god) have no idea what that actually means.
At least, we're pretty sure she has no idea what it means.
