Claire Wiest, Photographer

Ok - Claire didn't actually take this picture (a post-rainstorm puddle reflecting the girls' school building), but it was her idea.  She has a great eye for photography, and she was relatively aggrieved that I didn't have my real camera with me . . . but at least I had my phone!

Claire Wiest, MD

As some of you know, I was recently out of commission with an serious headache that left me literally unable to get out of bed for several days.  (It was quite unpleasant, but I am now happily on the mend.)  The girls, understandably, were concerned.  We were trying to keep their anxiety down, in part by sharing basic information about what was going on.

Claire, who, along with her bizarre ability to remember every fact she's ever heard or read, has also long shown signs of being a serious worrier.  Don got into a conversation with her about my headaches and encouraged her to talk about any concerns she had.  She had clearly already given it some thought. 

Claire:  "Maybe cancer is causing the headaches."
Don:  "Well, no.  They did a scan of Mommy's brain and she definitely does not have cancer."
Claire:  "Stroke?"
Don: "No.  Strokes can cause headaches, but Mom did not have a stroke."
Claire:  "Migraines?"
Don:  "Well, that's a good guess - these headaches are a little bit like migraines, but they're not exactly migraines either."
Claire:  "Amyloid placques?"
Don: (who apparently knows what "amyloid placques" means) "Um . . . no.  Definitely not amyloid placques."

I, unlike Don and Claire, actually had to look up the meaning of amyloid placques, and I am very happy not to have them.

Wiest-ette Vocab List

The Wiest-ette vocab list continues to grow, with Jane emerging as the leading contributor. It is, however, taking up too much blog-related real estate, so I am moving it from the sidebar to an actual post, which I'll continue to update. The entire list is below, with the newest item being "matilda." I am pleased to note that this useage has also been adopted by Jane's friend Louisa. The two of them routinely enjoy a matilda-related treat after their Thursday ballet class.

Wiest-ette Vocab List

• bagiant = vagina (Jane). Most effective use requires shouting this word, preferably in a grocery store or other public place -- e.g., "Mommy, you SEE my ba-GIANT??"
• belly suit = bathing suit. This appears to reflect the fact that one's belly is covered by a one-piece swimsuit. But it also involves some confusion with "ballet suit" (a/k/a "leotarn.")
• calicounter = calendar (Jane)
• diamond room = dining room (Jane)
• fake noodles = Fig Newtons (Jane). You can't imagne the confusion this one caused before we finally figured it out.
• fighterman = spiderman (Margot)
• fire executioner = fire extinguisher (Claire)
• leotarn = leotard (Claire)
• matilda = Nutella. As in, "Can I have Matilda on my popover?" (Jane)
  
• Magic Flag = American Flag (Jane)
• meaniac = one who is mean (All 3)
• nike (rhymes with bike) = nightgown (Jane). We think this is from her mis-hearing "nightgown" as "nike on"
• nufkin = nothing, i.e., the opposite of "sumpkin" (Jane)
• pokey-tot = polka dot (Jane)
• president = present (Jane). As in "I opened my birthday presidents yesterday."
• rudiecat = a person who behaves rudely (e.g., "MOM! Margot is being a rudiecat.")
• sumpkin = something, i.e., the opposite of "nufkin" (Jane)
• sun roof = sun room (Claire). As in, "Mommy, can you get the beach toys out of the sun roof so we can take them with us?"
• sunbird = sunburn (Jane)
• wash closet = washcloth (Jane)
• wrascalin' = rascal + wrestling (Jane). As in, "the puppies are wrascalin' again!"

Fashionista Gets Some Press (Sort Of)

Claire was thrilled to realize that one part of this piece from the Boston Globe's "G" section was talking about her . . . and it will come as no surprise to those of you who know Claire that the title of the article is "Why Won't My Kids Dress Like That?"

I, on the other hand, was thrilled to see myself described - for what is surely the first and last time - as having "a Zen attitude."

Tea Party + Spelling

This morning Margot put out her tea set, arranging four places at the small table in her room. The invitees were a lion, a panda, and an American Girl doll (Kit Kitteredge, for those of you who care about that sort of thing). The fourth seat was for Margot, who was serving the dual role of the waitress and participant.

She then brought me the menu that she'd written out, and it was a fine example of her ongoing fearless spelling. The available items (each of which was assigned to a particular guest) were as follows:

1. meat (lion)
2. bambo (panda)
3. nottles (Kit)
4. pisti (Margot)

I'm not totally clear on the difference between noodles and pasta, but I infer that noodles (assigned to Kit) is the more childish of the two.

Claire, in a not-unusual demonstration of perceived intellectual superiority, took one look at the menu and began howling with laughter. She was torn as to whether "nottles" or "pisti" merited greater derision, but ultimately concluded that "bambo" was the real gem here. She proceeded to offer up completely unsupportive comments like, "BamBO?! What is bamBO?! That's not even a word!", followed by a sort of evil cackle. Sort of an impressive display of self-confidence, when you consider that this blistering critique is coming from a child who still insists on pronouncing "discipline" with a hard "c."

Wow, They DO Listen to Me (Sometimes)

Claire: "Daddy, are those clean boxers you're wearing?"
Don: "Um, yes. Why do you ask?"
Claire: "Well . . . Mom seems really concerned about everyone wearing clean underwear."

Build Your Vocabulary, Jane-Style!

Jane is on a roll with this week's new (erroneous) vocab additions. Highlights:

• Fake Noodles. After several requests for this baffling item, I finally asked Jane to show me where the "fake noodles" were. She led me to our pantry shelf and pointed to a cookie dish full of FIG NEWTONS.
• Wrascalin'. This is a combo of "rascal" and "wrestling." As in, "Mommy, the puppies are wrascalin' again!" (Note the dropped "g," which is undoubtedly an homage to her West Virginia heritage.
• Pokey-tot. Hint: this one is pattern-related. "Mommy, I want to bring the baby in the pokey-tot pajamas." Get it? Polka dot.
  

Sisterly Love

Margot's 6th Birthday

This morning's exchange:

Claire: "Margot, why do you talk all the time even when nobody is listening?"

Margot: "Because. I just like the way my voice sounds."

Quote of the Day

Margot: "Why don't kids just invite Santa to their birthday parties? They'd get tons more presents."

It is surely no coincidence that this occurred to her two days before her own birthday, which is this Friday.

The Evil Influence of "Bad Cat"

This conversation took place at our house on Monday night:

Don (gesturing towards three bags stuffed with dried mushrooms on the countertop): "Look at all the great mushrooms I got in Chinatown."

SuperNanny Lindsay: "That's great. I love cooking with mushrooms. The girls especially like the stuffed ones I do."

Claire (wandering by idly and glancing over): "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in."

Yes - she actually said that: "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Where did she hear such a thing, you might wonder? As is often the case with Claire, she read it. In a book called Bad Cat. A book that any responsible parent would never let a child read, because - although it's hilarious - it is enormously, horrifically inappropriate for children.

But if you have the kind of parents who let you have Bad Cat because because someone having a yard sale in your neighborhood offers it to you for free, and because your parents' cursory examination reveals primarily that Bad Cat is full of pictures of cats (which you love), and if your parents somehow fail to notice the book's blatant warning about offensive material, and if they also don't actually read Bad Cat until it's been in your possession for . . . um . . . months, actually . . . at which point they quickly and belatedly confiscate it . . . well, then you might become the sort of seven-year-old who says things like, "Looks like the shrooms are kicking in." Even if you (thank god) have no idea what that actually means.

At least, we're pretty sure she has no idea what it means.