We are in the kitchen. Don is making dinner, and I am sitting at the kitchen table editing photos on my laptop. We've put a gate up to keep our totally untrained dogs from rampaging around the house eating Polly Pockets. Jane appears at the gate, dressed in a pumpkin costume, and presents yet another request for a non-dinner food item. Having already requested (and been denied) grilled cheese and candy, she goes for yogurt.
Jane: "Pumpkin wants some yogurt."
Me: "No, Jane. We're about to have dinner."
Jane: "I want yogurt for my dinner."
Don: "You can't have yogurt for dinner, but you can have some for dessert."
Jane: "If I can't have some yogurt, I am going to crack someone's head open."
[Don & I stare at each other, dumbfounded - then, in a terrific error of judgment - burst out laughing.]
Jane (moving gate and furiously entering kitchen): "It's not funny. I want to come in this gate and have a YOGURT CONSEQUENCE. Right now!"
[pause]
Jane (regrouping; gesturing toward my Birra Moretti): "Fine. Then can I have a drink of this?"
Me: "No, Jane. Kids can't drink beer."
Jane: "Well, I know. But I like it. I drank it when you were sick."
Me: "No, you didn't. You can't drink this."
Jane: "I can drink this. I like it."
Me: "No."
[Margot comes into kitchen.]
Jane (glaring): "Margot. Pumpkin is very angry."
