Grandma!

Jane:  "Mom, is Grandma retired?"

Me:  "No, she still has her same job."

Jane: "Oh, good.  I love visiting her work."

Jane (whispering to self):  "Yeah, Grandma!  Still going strong!!"

Um, Thanks?

The other day, Claire sent me two items, neither of which included any explanatory text.  Make of them what you will:

Item 1:

On Fri, Oct 25, 2013 at 6:30 AM, Claire wrote:

Part Of Our World (@PartOfOurWorld) tweeted at 10:00 PM on Thu, Oct 24, 2013:

Stress Relieving Foods:
-Bananas 
-Pasta 
-Almonds 
-Grapes 
-Green Tea 
-Oatmeal 
-Chocolate 
-Water melon
-Cornflakes 
-Tuna

(https://twitter.com/PartOfOurWorld/status/393557588182192128)

Item 2:

This is How We Learn

Jane to her friend:  "Hey, Z, do you raise your hand very much in class?"

Z:  "No, not too much."

Jane:  "Yeah, me neither."

Me:  "Why don't you raise your hand very much in class?"

Jane:  "I just prefer to listen to everyone else and learn from their mistakes."

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

Those of you who know Don know that he insists on using a flip phone that was developed around 1987.  (See photo).  This, not surprisingly, renders him the subject of much disparagement from friends and family alike. 

Claire, our resident comedian (and devotee of her own, more high-tech cell phone as well as all Chuck Norris jokes), issued an incessant stream of phone-related insults this weekend.  For some reason, strolling around Newport, Rhode Island seemed to bring out her best, geeky one-liners.  They included the following:

"Dad, does your phone run on stored power from the Big Bang?"

"Hey Dad – was your phone invented by the ancient Sumerians?"

"I’m pretty sure Dad’s phone preceded the creation of the wheel."

"When homo-habilus went to the place between two rivers, they found Dad’s phone."

And, in homage to Newport (est. circa 1639), “What's older, Dad?  These buildings or your phone?”

Our Life is a Fairy Tale. Sort of.

The other day I walked into the kitchen and was amazed to see that one of the kids had filled up our "jobs" whiteboard with tasks.  For a split second, I actually believed my children had become so responsible that they were now assigning chores to themselves.

A closer examination revealed, of course, that no such thing had happened.  Instead, I found this "anonymous" note, which addresses a familiar theme:

Contributing Editor

Claire continues her efforts to ensure that this blog remains current.  Most recently, she texted me this picture of a reminder note that she had left for me, which Jane apparently edited.  Claire's text said, "I see a future blog post!"

The note was accompanied by this exchange, which confirms that my response rate to her text remains sub-par:

And, lastly, let's enjoy whatever remaining time we have with a phonetic speller in the house.  So enoing, but they do eventually learn to spell correctly.

Noteworthy

On the way to school this morning, Claire was being particularly argumentative.  Don was driving.  I was mainly arguing with Claire.  Margot was unusually quiet.  Then she handed me this (which will immediately take its place in the annals of Wiest-ette notes):

The Poster Child for Reading

This is a recent email from the Boston Public Library Foundation.  Note the reader who is prominently featured on the right.  Claire is now the actual poster child for reading in Boston.  Given her history, this is beyond perfect.

The Art of Persuasion

One afternoon, I received this email from Barnes & Noble:

Clearly, the online form that lets you beg your parents for Chimpact didn't have enough room for Margot to make her case.  She followed up with this dizzying combination of logic, persuasion, and attempted guilt-tripping:

I immediately let her teacher know that the persuasive writing instruction seemed to be sinking in.

How to Star in this Blog

Claire, now a fan of this blog, has been lamenting my failure to post regularly.  Here's the conversation I recently overheard:

Claire: "It's because of us that Mom's writing fewer blog posts."

Margot: "Really?!"

Claire:  "Yes.  We need to be nicer to her."

Margot:  "We need to be funnier."