One Smart Caterpillar

When Don recently noticed that his cell phone was missing, he instantly had a suspect in mind. As he was searching for the phone, Jane (who was - again - wearing her bright green caterpillar costume) wandered in.

Don: "Jane, do you know where my cell phone is?"
Jane: "I’m not Jane, I’m caterpillar."
Don: "Caterpillar, do you know where my phone is?"
Jane: "She doesn’t talk."

Hope & Change

Don just emailed me this image, with a note reading "What could our own little Obama girl want more . . . than a candidate who's also a dancing car?" He's right. This image truly represents the perfect marriage of Jane's previously-unrelated interest in (a) President Obama and (b) transforming, dancing vehicles.

All I can say is, what a find. Not bad for a guy who's almost 40. :)

That WOULD be Bad

Margot, being an incredible drama queen, was recently howling and sobbing over a lost toy. After 10 straight minutes of this, having lost my patience with her, I said, "Margot! Losing a toy is not something that should make you hysterical. There are many things that are worse than misplacing a Polly Pockets doll, so stop all this fussing and whining." The sobbing immediately ceased, and Margot commented in a somber voice, "Right, Mommy - like dying. Dying is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, isn't it?" As I pondered how to respond, the following dialogue ensued:

Claire: "Dying is not the worst thing that could happen to someone."
Margot (stares at Claire in shocked silence)
Margot (with disbelief): "What?! What's worse than dying?"
Claire (darkly): "Being born in HELL."

When I Grow Up

Tonight Margot and I were talking about what she would be when she grows up - or, more specifically, I was meant to guess what she would be when she grows up. I thought my first choice (an actress) dead on, but I was wrong. That suggestion, while was met with interest, was ultimately rejected. Doctor, scientist, teacher, and lawyer all met the same fate. After a long pause, Margot said, "Mommy, what I really want to be when I grow up is a magical bunny. And I will never want to stop being a magical bunny. Because I really love bunnies."

Common Knowledge

Claire: "Mom, can you tell me everything you know about Bikini Atoll?"
Me: "I don't actually know that much about it."
Claire: "Then just tell me the part that you know."
Me: "Well, Bikini Atoll was a nuclear testing site many years ago."
Claire: "It was a nuclear testing site in the 1940s and the 1950s. But was it American and British nuclear testing? Or just American?"
Me: "Um, I'm not really sure."
Claire (with exasperation): "Okay. What do you know about frequent explosions?"
Me: "I don't actually know a lot about frequent explosions either."
Claire: "Mom, can you just tell me everything you know about frequent explosions?"
Me: "What kind of explosions?"
Claire (with resignation): "Never mind, Mom. But you really should know about these things if you want to be a grown-up."

Deep Thoughts

Claire: "Mommy, I'm really going to try to be ordinary. I think it will keep the vampires out of my head."

Potty Talk

We were recently at our local bakery when Jane announced that she had to go potty. We headed to the bathroom, and she proceeded to cheerfully sit on the toilet doing nothing. As the minutes ticked by, I encouraged her to hurry up - but there was no rushing the process. Finally, after about 10 minutes, she turned around to peer into the toilet (on which she was still sitting).

Jane: "Look! A mommy poo and a baby poo are in there!"
Me (noncomittally): "Hmm."
Jane: "You see them?!"
Me: "Are you read to go now?"
Jane: "No. I'm not done pooping."
Me: "Jane, can you hurry up? I think people are waiting to use the bathroom."
Jane: [silence]
Me: "Jane, can you please finish going potty?"
Jane: [silent, but with a look of intense concentration]
Me: "Janie? Let's go, honey."
Jane (shouting): "Hooray!! The daddy poo is coming out!!"
Me: [silence]

Let's Look on the Bright Side

The other day I went into Margot's newly-painted bedroom and was somewhat alarmed to see a series of about 10 Post-It flags stuck along her wall. On each flag, she had carefully drawn a frowny face -- with a black Sharpie. Despite her relatively neat efforts, some amount of Sharpie had ended up on the wall. The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Margot, what are these?"
Margot: "These are all of the days that Grandma and Grandpa aren't here yet." (This was an allusion to the upcoming mid-January visit of my parents and my sisters.)
Me: "That is a very nice idea, but you can't put stickers up on your wall - it pulls the paint off."
Margot: "These aren't stickers, they are Post-It flags."
Me: "Okay, well, you can't put things that stick up on your wall. And you also can't write on the wall with a Sharpie. That doesn't wash off, so now we'll have to paint over these marks."
Margot: "I didn't write on the wall with the Sharpie. I wrote on the Post-It flags. Some it just got on the wall."
Me: "I know you didn't mean to do it - but we just painted your room and this does mess up the new paint."
Margot (pausing): "But, Mommy, isn't it great that all of the other walls still look really good?!"

Dance Party at 9 Park Lane

Our own Little Miss Sunshine rocks out to Earth, Wind & Fire -- the dance party really gets going around the 32-second mark.

New Vocab Word: "Nufkin"

Nufkin. Noun. The opposite of sumpkin. See Wiest-ette Vocab List (right sidebar) for definition of "sumpkin."

Sample use of "nufkin"
Jane: "Ow, sumpkin hurts."
Me: "What's wrong? Does your stomach hurt?"
Jane: "No, not that."
Me: "Your head?"
Jane: "No. Nufkin hurts."
Me: "What?"
Jane: "Nufkin hurts."
Me: "Are you saying nufkin?"
Jane: "Yes. Nufkin hurts now."
Me: "I thought you said that something hurt."
Jane: "Sumpkin doesn't hurt now. Not sumpkin, nufkin hurts."