The Best Defense is a Good Offense

Yesterday in the car Margot began screaming that Claire had hit her over the head with a book.  Before I could even question the veracity of the claim, Claire defensively announced that "Margot deserved it - she is humming right in my ear and won't stop!"

Me:  "Claire, why are we having this conversation?  What I have I told you about this?"
Claire:  "Not to use a physical response when I am mad at Margot."
Me:  "How many times have we talked about this topic?"
Claire:  "I don't know.  Probably 1000."
Me:  "What are you supposed to do if she is bothering you?"
Claire:  "Mommy, I know.   I'm supposed to ask her to stop, and if she won't stop after I ask more than once, I'm supposed to tell a grown-up."
Me:  "Are you supposed to hit her?"
Claire:  "Well, no.  But, Mommy - she was doing it in order to annoy me.   So, I already knew that she wasn't going to stop, no matter how many times I asked her and no matter how many times you asked her.  I had no choice but to resort immediately to hitting her."

Our Pigeon Lover

This is the song that Jane was belting out this morning, sort of to the tune of "Do You Know the Muffin Man":  "I am a pigeon lover, a pigeon lover, a pigeon lover.  Oh YES I AM a pigeon lover . . . because I LOVE PIGEONS."

I don't think there's a whole lot more I can write about this particular incident.

Royal Rudeness

The girls and I were making cookies recently and Claire jokingly referred to me as "Your Royal Highness."  Jane gasped and said, "Claire, that's rude!"  Totally baffled, I asked Jane to clarify.

Me:  "Jane, why do you think it's rude to say "Your Royal Highness"?"
Jane:  "Claire, you know why."
Claire:  "No, I don't - and it's not actually rude."
Jane:  "You're the one who told me it was rude."
Claire:  "I did not!"
Jane:  "Yes, you did.  It's rude because it means bum."
Me:  "Jane, "Your Royal Highness" does not mean "bum."
Jane: "Claire said it does."
Me:  "I'm sure she didn't say that!  Did you, Claire?"
Claire:  [silence]
Me:  "Claire, did you tell her that?"
Claire:  "Not exactly."
Me:  "What did you say to her?"
Claire:  "Well . . . I did say "Your Royal Hiney."
Jane:  "See?!  I told you it's rude!"