Welcome to Nerdville

Claire:  "Wouldn't it be hilarious if there was an app that translated speech into binary?"

Me:  [silence]

Claire:  "So, your friend would text you a message, maybe, "Hi, how are you?"  Then you would answer them normally but the message they would get would say something like, "0011001010101.""

Me:  [silence]

Claire:  "Mom, come on.  It would be awesome."

Kitchen Darwinism

Claire:  "Can I eat this cookie?  It's misshapen."

Me:  "You already had two of them."

Claire:  "Mom.  We must weed out the weak ones."

Editorial License

I was driving, and so asked Claire to type my response to a text from Margot.  The result:

All the News That's Fit to Print

So glad I made it into the inaugural story:

 

10 Points for Motherhood!

Another (admittedly rare) piece of evidence suggesting that I'm not just swearing and providing inappropriate reading material to my kids:

Language (Again)

Everyone has heard the allegation that, despite the onset of motherhood 12+ years ago, I have generally failed to clean up my language to a proper, motherly degree. The girls generally accept this state of affairs, sometimes exclaiming, "Mom!  LANGUAGE!" if things seem really off the rails.

This summer, my phone made the below auto-correct in a text I sent to Margot. Claire got a look at it and burst out laughing.

Me: "But why would it make that correction when I was trying to type walking?!"

Claire: "Mom, your phone knows you too well."

Awesomeness

Claire:  "I love coding.  Computer camp is the amazing."

Jane:  "When I'm older, I want to go to an awesome camp."

Claire:  "You should totally go to coding camp, it's the best."

Jane:  "No, I mean I want to go to a really awesome camp. Like BLACKSMITH camp."

Hooray for Reading! (Maybe)

As in the past, Margot demonstrates an interesting (i.e., questionable) reading selection:

Tentacles. Or Whatever.

Our recent breakfast conversation at busy, bustling Ula Cafe:

Jane:  "Mom, can you explain what a tentacle is?"

Me: "A tentacle?"

Jane:  "Yes. [My friend] wanted me to explain it to her but I wasn't sure how."

Me: "Sure.  It's like a long flexible arm on an animal.  For example, an octopus has eight tentacles."

Jane (quietly):  "No, not that.  I mean a man's tentacle."

Margot (loudly):  "Mom, I'm pretty sure she means TESTICLE."

Jane (loudly):  "Oh, yes - that's it!  I mean TESTICLE. Can you tell me everything you know about testicles?"

So glad we live in JP.

Game of . . . Guinea Pigs?

Margot purchased an additive for the guinea pigs' water bottle that apparently makes their cage smell less like guinea pig pee.  She left it near the bathroom sink.

I came in and immediately observed that Claire had been at work:

Royal Origins?

Margot was (in her usual style) giving an extremely detailed recitation of a recent dream. This one included a very long adventure, which culminated in her learning that she was actually a princess.


Margot: "So then it turned out that I actually was a princess.  And I had been adopted."

Claire: "I have to tell you something. You actually were adopted."

Margot: "What? No I wasn't!  Mom, was I adopted??"

Claire: "Actually, you were found in a dumpster."

Margot: [silence]

Claire: "You were adumpted."

Rice & Beans

Claire is inexplicably refusing to do a homework assignment that requires her to write a short essay describing what happens to a bite of rice and beans as it travels through the digestive system.  No explanation has been given for the refusal.

After being told that not doing the essay is not an acceptable plan, she announced instead that, in her essay, "The rice and beans were thrown up."

So, I guess that's that.

Claire Strikes Again

This morning I opened my iPhone email app to send a reminder message to myself.  I started typing my own email address and my phone auto-filled the following:

Um, what?

I just found this drawing.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  And then please explain it to me.

A Little Known Fact About Hedgehogs

Margot:  "Claire, would you toss a hedgehog if given the opportunity?"

Claire: "Yes, of course."

Margot: "I'm not sure if I would.  I think they might not like it."

Claire: "Margot!  Come on. They would definitely like it."

Who knew?

Roller Coaster

Claire and Jane entertaining themselves. No further explanation required.

All You Need to Know About Jane

One night we went out to dinner at our local tapas place, which (somewhat randomly) has a bookstore in the back of the restaurant.  Each of the girls were allowed to get one book.

This is the book Jane chose.

And that pretty much tells you all you need to know about Jane.

A Book Review

Last night Claire was writing a book review letter to her English teacher. After summarizing the plot of the book she'd chosen and giving her assessment of the story, she moved onto her recommendation about what audience might like this particular novel.  Looks like a bit of a niche market to me:

A Story, In Part

This was the email exchange I had with Margot a couple of weekends ago when I was in Maine for work:

On Jan 25, 2014, at 10:21 PM, Margot wrote:

I miss you. When you come back I will be very happy. This is a story for you.

"Once upon a time, two children hatched from an egg. This seems odd, but they were, in appearance, normal children. A stable boy had heard crying coming from the chicken pen, gone to investigate, and came back holding a girl and a boy, to young to know their names.

He took them to the king as a present for the king's birthday. It was not uncommon to receive babies as a present if you were king. The young king's mother, who was in charge until the king was old enough to rule, was going to send them to some childless noble family when she looked into their eyes. They seemed so much more real than other babies. The mother queen sent the children to live with her son. They would be nice, she thought.

And they were nice. Everyone after two or so years stopped talking about how the five-year-old king and the two three-year olds went everywhere together. They ate, slept, played, even talked, together. They were inseparable."

I will finish this story later.

XO Margot

On Sat, Jan 25, 2014, Carrie Fletcher wrote:
Margot, what a fabulous story!!  I cannot wait to see what happens next!  I miss you, too.
Love, Mom

On Sun, Jan 26, 2014 at 11:44 AM, Margot wrote:

"When the king turned twelve, he was deemed old enough to rule. He was no longer allowed to play with Artemis and Apollo. The twins had been named after the Greek gods that the people worshiped. There had been a time, when, before turning seven, they were watching the young king Thomas practicing archery. They had picked up bows and arrows, and to the courtiers' great astonishment, shot six bulls-eyes in a row. That is how they got their names."

Now - don't you want to know what happens next??  Me, too.

What's in a Name?

We used to pass this school on the way to gymnastics every week.  One day I overheard this conversation:

Margot:  "What kind of school is that?!"

Claire:  "A vampire school. Obviously."

Margot:  "Oh.  I guess that's why they all have those black uniforms."

Claire:  "Exactly."