Against Pigamy We Stand

We were recently discussing the Fair Pay Act and the concept that women might not receive equal pay for equal work.

Claire:  "Anyone who thinks that way is a total pigamist."
Margot:  "A what?"
Claire: "A pigamist.  It's a man who doesn't believe woman are equal to men."
Me:  "Claire, do you mean misogynist?"
Claire:  "No.  Pigamist."
Margot:  "Yeah, Mom.  She means pigamist."

Tweendom Is Upon Us

One night when Don was home with the girls, I received the below email from Claire:
"i skipped dinner 2night it was 2 gross
now i'm really hungry"

I later received the this follow-up item:

Spy Notes 2.0

Jane, taking after her sister before her, has made her first foray into spying - in this case, on her friend Eric.

This note details the key observations that our spy made concerning Eric's location and conduct.  (I do feel compelled to note that the part about Zoe hitting Eric is blatantly false.)

Second Breakfast

The girls' school serves breakfast in the classroom every morning.  The fact that we eat breakfast at home has not remotely deterred them from also eating school breakfast.   The eating of Second Breakfast has become a routine topic of conversation.

Jane:  "Mom!  I ate Second Breakfast again today."
Me:  "You must have been very hungry."
Jane:  "Yeah.  I am totally a warthog."
Me:  "A what?"
Jane:  "A warthog.  You know, Second Breakfast?  Warthog?"
Me: [confused silence]
Claire:  "Um, Jane?  I think you mean Hobbit."

Watch Your Language

This weekend we went out to lunch with friends - children were at one end of the (long) table; adults were at the other.  I heard Claire practically shout the word "penis."

Me:  "Claire, I don't know what you're talking about, but you should not be saying "penis" at the lunch table."

Claire (laughing):  "Sorry, Mom."

Jane (immediately):  "How about "ding dong", then?"