I know everyone talks (truthfully) about how life is never the same after kids. In addition to all of the wonder and joy that comes with having the girls, there has also been what can only be described as a total loss of privacy and, for lack of a better description, ownership: of my time, my attention, my sleep, and, of course, my actual body. I'm not saying this is necessarily bad, but it is a change for a person who had previously operated as an independent being for many years. The perception that I'm sort of collectively owned by my kids is not limited to me; they see the world this way, too. I'm sort of their main chattel.
For example, I find it nearly impossible to take a shower without at least one child (and usually two or three) coming into the bathroom (if not into the shower) with allegedly urgent issues. It's generally something like the following:
Margot: "Mommy, Claire said her Polly Pocket was a robber, but it wasn't really a robber because it was a girl and there aren't any girl robbers and also she said it had a gun and guns are not safe."
Claire (screaming from her room): "She's LYYYYYYIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG, Mom. Ignore her."
Margot (sobbing): "I'm not lying!"
Claire (still screaming): "You are!"
Jane (cheerfully): "Margot's lying! Polly Pockets are robbers!"
Margot: "I'm NOT lying!"
Jane (climbing into shower, fully clothed): "You lying. Mommy, I go in shower with you, ok?"
Margot (still sobbing, but also removing clothes and climbing into shower with 11 Polly Pockets dolls): "Claire, I'm not lying, and I'm not playing Polly Pockets with you any more."
Me (silently): "Really? Do two people -- one of whom is fully clothed -- really need to be in here with me right now?"
Margot (staring intently at me): "Mom!"
Me (with concern): "What?"
Margot: "Is Jane still using those?
Me: "Using what?"
Margot: "Your breasts."
Me: "Um, no. She doesn't nurse any more."
Margot: "Well, what are you using them for, then?"
Me: (silence)
Fair question. Because, really, am I using them for?
