Against Pigamy We Stand

We were recently discussing the Fair Pay Act and the concept that women might not receive equal pay for equal work.

Claire:  "Anyone who thinks that way is a total pigamist."
Margot:  "A what?"
Claire: "A pigamist.  It's a man who doesn't believe woman are equal to men."
Me:  "Claire, do you mean misogynist?"
Claire:  "No.  Pigamist."
Margot:  "Yeah, Mom.  She means pigamist."

Tweendom Is Upon Us

One night when Don was home with the girls, I received the below email from Claire:
"i skipped dinner 2night it was 2 gross
now i'm really hungry"

I later received the this follow-up item:

Spy Notes 2.0

Jane, taking after her sister before her, has made her first foray into spying - in this case, on her friend Eric.

This note details the key observations that our spy made concerning Eric's location and conduct.  (I do feel compelled to note that the part about Zoe hitting Eric is blatantly false.)

Second Breakfast

The girls' school serves breakfast in the classroom every morning.  The fact that we eat breakfast at home has not remotely deterred them from also eating school breakfast.   The eating of Second Breakfast has become a routine topic of conversation.

Jane:  "Mom!  I ate Second Breakfast again today."
Me:  "You must have been very hungry."
Jane:  "Yeah.  I am totally a warthog."
Me:  "A what?"
Jane:  "A warthog.  You know, Second Breakfast?  Warthog?"
Me: [confused silence]
Claire:  "Um, Jane?  I think you mean Hobbit."

Watch Your Language

This weekend we went out to lunch with friends - children were at one end of the (long) table; adults were at the other.  I heard Claire practically shout the word "penis."

Me:  "Claire, I don't know what you're talking about, but you should not be saying "penis" at the lunch table."

Claire (laughing):  "Sorry, Mom."

Jane (immediately):  "How about "ding dong", then?"

A Mathlete Is (Not) Born

In case you can't quite read that, Jane's answer to the math homework question "How many flowers are there?" is "There are lots ov flowers."

Musicology

For some reason, my kids love that Cher song, "Believe" - you know, the one from 1998.  Although we've been listening to it for months now, I only recently learned that there was some confusion about the singer's identity:

Margot:  "Is this singer a man or a woman?"
Claire:  "It's definitely a man."
Me:  "Actually, it's a woman."
Jane:  "What?!  I thought that was Usher."

More On Animals (Live Ones!)

Claire with Kingston & Sheffield (her cousins' dogs) in St. Charles, IL

Claire is gearing up for her 3rd Walk for Animals on Sunday, September 9.  Unlike her younger sister, Claire's efforts are focused on live animals.  Her passion for animals continues unabated, and visiting the MSPCA is still one of her favorite after-school activities.  She's also nuts about our dogs, Ollie and Hugo.  Every morning she exclaims - as if she hasn't seen them every morning for the last four years - "Mom!  they're so cute and sweet, aren't they amazing!"  She also continues to insist that Ollie would make a great husband (if people were allowed to marry dogs.)

Although Claire is the instigator, we'll all do the Walk together - despite Jane's dismay at learning we don't keep any of the money, and Margot's annoyance that Claire has gotten "way too much attention" for being featured on the MSPCA's website.  If you happen to love animals, too, or if you have some money left for your charitable giving this year, Claire would be thrilled if you can make a donation.

A-hunting We Will Go

Jane:  "Mommy, I have a really great idea."
Me: "What is it?"
Jane:  "Let's go hunting for dead animals."
Me:  "Did you say dead animals?"
Jane:  "Yes.  We can go in the woods and hunt for small dead animals.  Like chipmunks."
Me:  "I am not sure I want to do that."
Jane:  "No, Mom, it will be so fun!  If we find some small dead animals, then we can bring them back and stuff them up.  Then we can play with them!  Like stuffed animals, but real."
Me:  [Silence]

I can't help but wonder whether Jane is secretly related to The Bloggess - I love them both, so it makes a weird kind of sense.

Further Updates from Margot

This drawing by Margot was captioned "Claire is an Angry Pig."  It might be a follow up on this (slightly more detailed) written report.