Idiocy for Dummies

In which Claire illustrates the difficulty presented by having an extremely literal and logical child:

Claire:  "Stop being an idiot, Margot!"

Lindsay:  "Claire, I don't want to hear you talking to Margot like that.  You're not allowed to use that word."

Claire:  "Lindsay - she is being a complete fool. That's what idiot means.  She is putting her pencil in her ear and then rubbing it on me! That is idiotic, and if I used any other word, it wouldn't make sense."

On Having a Little Sister

Having thoroughly (but poetically) trashed her older sister, Margot turns her scathing commentary toward her younger sibling.

On the positive side, Claire appears to have moved up in the rankings, as you can tell by the description of her as "sort of nice."  Contrast that to Jane, who is (among other things) "visous like a bull dog."

I haven't yet figured out if that thing on Margot's head is a crown or some kind of sailor hat.

Will the Real Tooth Fairy Please Stand Up?

Lindsay recently reported that Claire and Margot were puzzling over the "real" identity of the Tooth Fairy.   Their discussion was prompted by Claire's (truthful) claim that I had come into her room and "rustled around" on the same night she'd left a tooth under her pillow.  When I overheard them discussing the topic, I decided to be straight about it (while crossing my fingers that they wouldn't disclose their new-found info to Jane, who is still very new to the whole Tooth Fairy business).

Me:  "Okay, you guys -  I have to tell you something.  But you cannot tell Jane."
Margot:  "We won't tell her, we really won't!  Is it about the Tooth Fairy?"
Me:  "Yes.  And it's very important that you not let Jane know what I'm about to tell you.  Okay?"
Claire:  "Mom - can you just tell us?!"
Me:  "Well, Claire, I know that you told Margot you saw me come into your room the other night when you'd left your tooth out for the Tooth Fairy.  And you're right - I am the one who has been taking your teeth."
Margot:  "I knew it was you!  I knew it!"
Claire:  "Okay, fine.  So, do you just mail them to the Tooth Fairy, or what?"

Don: 1, Me: 0

Jane:  "I like it better when Daddy takes me to school."

Me:  "Really?  Why?"

Jane:  "Because then I don't have to brush my hair."

The Next Shel Silverstein?

Margot's "Writer's Notebook" homework from last night.  I think it speaks for itself.

(Yes, Claire's propensity for recycling continues.  And note the dramatic improvement in Margot's spelling that has transpired in just two short years.)

Economics, Margot-Style

The topic of loose (and lost) teeth is a popular one at our house, and it has spawned a corollary discussion about how to get more from the Tooth Fairy than the single "gold coin" (i.e., Susan B. Anthony dollar) that she usually leaves.  Of the three girls, Margot has the greatest strategic vision on this topic.  For example, she recently wrote a note on Jane's behalf asking the Tooth Fairy to leave Jane "a plastic lizard or other small toy, or,  if you don't have that, five dollars."  (Disappointingly, the Tooth Fairy left . . . one gold coin.)

Undeterred, Margot continues to formulate her teeth-related money-making schemes, the latest of which appears to be a sort of forced savings plan (which may relate to her attempts to save up for a second American Girl doll . . . she has put aside $47 so far.)  She described the new plan as follows:

"I've decided to save up all the rest of the teeth I lose and put them in a jar that says "Please, Tooth Fairy, don't take my teeth.  When I lose all of my teeth, I'll put the whole jar under my pillow with a note that says, "Okay, you can take all of my teeth now."  Then the Tooth Fairy will leave me tons of money.  You know, you really can't even but a Polly Pocket with a gold coin - but with all of my teeth, I could buy another American Girl doll."

How to Help Animals - When Your Mother Doesn't "Know Things She Should Know"

My failure to know various things that grown-ups are supposed to know is well chronicled (for example, here and here).  Despite my awareness of this flaw, I have yet again failed to know something important - in this case, the fact that the MSCPA Walk for Animals is happening this Sunday . . . not on some other, further-away Sunday as I'd imagined.   Like maybe a Sunday in October.  Or November, even.

Nope - it's this weekend.  In two days from now, actually.  And once I realized that, I registered Claire and we got her fundraising website set up . . .  leaving a very small amount of time for her to actually hit people up for money.   (I won't relay our entire conversation, but it involved questions like, "Mom, shouldn't you have known about this?")

We did the walk last year, and, it was so amazing it was to see Claire's excitement about raising money to help animals.  Each time a donation came in through her website, she would pump her fist in excitement.  She came out of her shell to actually ask people to support a cause that she's passionate about.  She could not have been more excited in the days leading up to the walk - and Ollie and Hugo, through some miracle of fate, behaved perfectly (even on the subway trip to and from the Boston Common, where the event is held.)

So, we're doing the walk this weekend (despite Jane's continued disappointment that, yet again, we don't actually get to keep the money).  If you happen to love animals, or if you happen to like the idea of supporting a nine-year-old who loves animals, please consider donating to Claire's campaign. 

And, of course, many, many thanks to our friends who have already done so.

We Speak Pirate

Jane:  "Mom!  Margot just called me "scurvy dog!"  That's really bad.  Get her in trouble."

Me:  "Do you know what "scurvy dog" means?"

Jane:  "Yes.  It's pirate for "you're stupid.""

Our Art Afficionado

While we were on vacation last month, we visited the Art Institute of Chicago.

Don:  "Jane, what did you like best at the Art Institute?"

Jane:  "The gift shop."

Don:  "Well, besides the gift shop."

Jane:  "This."  (holding up a toy from the gift shop.)

Don:  "I meant what did you like from the art exhibits."

Jane:  "Umm . . . I guess all of the naked people?"

Don:  "How about the knights and armor - did you like that?"

Jane:  "Yes.  That, and the naked people."

Don:  [silence]

Jane:  "They have a lot of naked stuff there.  I really like it."

Role Model?

Claire at her mimic-y best.

Those of you who know Don realize that there's nothing else to be said here.