In Which My Cooking Skills Are Insulted (Again)

I may have reached a new low on the cooking front:  Jane just offered to pay me not to make dinner.  When I declined her offer (in the amount of one dollar), she took a harder line and announced that, if I dared to make the chili that I was in the process of assembling, she would not, in the future, give me any money - ever.  She then poured herself a bowl of cheerios.

I suggested that she put the Cheerios away and reiterated that we - all of us - were going to have chili.  She brought in reinforcements.  Claire rushed in and decried the unfairness of it all:  "Two of us - Jane and me - do not want chili.  Only one person - Margot - does.  So, you should not be making chili."  (Don and I apparently hold only non-voting roles in the family.)  I continued with the chili-making process.

Claire gave up and left.  Jane sat sullenly at the table, swirling her Cheerios around in the bowl and thoughtfully lining up her last-ditch attempt to salvage dinner. 

Jane:  "Mommy, you know what?"
Me:  "Jane, I don't want to discuss the chili any more."
Jane:  "I'm not discussing the chili."
Me:  "Okay, what?"
Jane:  "I just want you to know that my mouth is really happy right now without any chili in it."

Kitchen Lessons

Because Don is amazing in the kitchen and does virtually all of the chef-related work at our house, my children operate under the not-unreasonable belief that I can't cook.  They were both pleased and supportive this week when I undertook to make several omelets.  Margot perched beside me the entire time, offering helpful comments like, "Okay, good.  That's good, Mommy.  Now take that flipper thing and put it under the omelet so you can turn it over.  Great, Mom - you're doing great."

I served the omelets, and the girls marveled at how great they looked.  Margot offered to call Don and announce my accomplishment, and Claire observed that "Daddy is going to be ectastic when he hears about this!"  They began to eat, and Margot looked up.

Margot:  "Mommy?  I want to talk to you about this omelet."
Me:  "Okay."
Margot:  "Well, it's made of the same ingredients Dad uses.  That's good."
Me:  "Thanks."
Margot:  "It does also smell like Dad's omelets smell."
Me: [waiting]
Margot:  "And, it does look a lot like the omelets Daddy makes.  So . . . that's a good start, okay?"
Me:  "Okay."
Margot:  "But Mommy?  I have to tell you - it doesn't taste as good as Dad's.  It really doesn't."
[pause]
Margot:  "I just thought you should know."