A Mathlete Is (Not) Born

In case you can't quite read that, Jane's answer to the math homework question "How many flowers are there?" is "There are lots ov flowers."

Musicology

For some reason, my kids love that Cher song, "Believe" - you know, the one from 1998.  Although we've been listening to it for months now, I only recently learned that there was some confusion about the singer's identity:

Margot:  "Is this singer a man or a woman?"
Claire:  "It's definitely a man."
Me:  "Actually, it's a woman."
Jane:  "What?!  I thought that was Usher."

More On Animals (Live Ones!)

Claire with Kingston & Sheffield (her cousins' dogs) in St. Charles, IL

Claire is gearing up for her 3rd Walk for Animals on Sunday, September 9.  Unlike her younger sister, Claire's efforts are focused on live animals.  Her passion for animals continues unabated, and visiting the MSPCA is still one of her favorite after-school activities.  She's also nuts about our dogs, Ollie and Hugo.  Every morning she exclaims - as if she hasn't seen them every morning for the last four years - "Mom!  they're so cute and sweet, aren't they amazing!"  She also continues to insist that Ollie would make a great husband (if people were allowed to marry dogs.)

Although Claire is the instigator, we'll all do the Walk together - despite Jane's dismay at learning we don't keep any of the money, and Margot's annoyance that Claire has gotten "way too much attention" for being featured on the MSPCA's website.  If you happen to love animals, too, or if you have some money left for your charitable giving this year, Claire would be thrilled if you can make a donation.

A-hunting We Will Go

Jane:  "Mommy, I have a really great idea."
Me: "What is it?"
Jane:  "Let's go hunting for dead animals."
Me:  "Did you say dead animals?"
Jane:  "Yes.  We can go in the woods and hunt for small dead animals.  Like chipmunks."
Me:  "I am not sure I want to do that."
Jane:  "No, Mom, it will be so fun!  If we find some small dead animals, then we can bring them back and stuff them up.  Then we can play with them!  Like stuffed animals, but real."
Me:  [Silence]

I can't help but wonder whether Jane is secretly related to The Bloggess - I love them both, so it makes a weird kind of sense.

Further Updates from Margot

This drawing by Margot was captioned "Claire is an Angry Pig."  It might be a follow up on this (slightly more detailed) written report.

Know Thy Sister

At Margot's birthday dinner last night, we were all commenting on what an extraordinarily cheerful and outgoing baby she'd been.  After several anecdotes were shared, Claire asked, "What kind of baby was I?"

Margot instantly responded, "Glum.  You were a glum, bitter, irritable baby."

Sweet Caroline

We were recently driving home from a Red Sox game during which we - and, in particular, Margot - had enthusiastically belted out "Sweet Caroline" along with the rest of the crowd.  I pulled up Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits (readily accessible on my my iPhone), triggering Don's usual exclamations of horror.  I reiterated my chronic dismay at his failure to appreciate anything about Neil, who was a formative musical influence for me.

The alliances became clear:  Claire supported Don and argued fervently that every song by Neil Diamond is "atrocious."  Margot was on my side; our main response was to sing "Sweet Caroline" louder and louder.  Finally, I turned to Jane to cast the decisive vote.

Me:  "Jane, do you like Neil Diamond?"
Jane:  "Well, I do really like "Sweet Caroline.""
Me:  [optimistically silent]
Jane:  "But - it would be better if Beyonce sang it.  Like, a lot better."

The Adventures of Cat Girl

Cat Girl

     by Jane Wiest

Jane's recent artistic efforts center around Cat Girl, who was created when Jane " tried to draw a person and the head came out wrong so I turned her into a person-cat."  The latest Cat Girl publication is an illustrated work about "the things that Cat Girl does in my story." 

As you can see, phoenetic spelling remains alive and well at 9 Park Lane.


++++++++++++++++++++++++
Spoiler Alert:  I'm about to tell you what all of the headings say:

=Front of the Story
=Cat Girl
=Gymnastics
=Cat Girl at School
=Volleyball
=Beach
=Cat Girl at Basketball
=Holiday
=Have you Liked my Book?  (For reasons unknown, Jane's friend Eric has been accused of not liking the book - which he has never seen.)

Manah Manah, Redux

Claire emailed me this picture, entitled "Manah Manah."

It strikes me as sort of a perfect follow-up to this Manah Manah performance by her sisters (which remains on of my favorite videos of all time.)

Reading Time

I just found this post in my drafts, and I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or go have a drink even though it's only 7:00 in the morning.  I wrote it when Claire (now 10) was six.  


Claire has not veered from this approach at any point during the intervening four years.  In fact, she may be the only child in the history of the Curley K-8 who has been sent to the principal's office for reading. No joke.

Spring 2008.  Let's just be honest about one of my primary failings as a mother:  my six-year-old's utter refusal to cooperate with instructions that don't mesh perfectly with her own plans. This can be a challenge when the child is, say, at school and the teacher suggests some radical thing like coming to circle time. Or doing math. Or going to art. Or, basically, doing any activity in the universe that is different from reading a book.

Claire's Recipe for Success (Self-Defined) in the Classroom

The preferred methodology is as follows:

1. Begin to a read book, regardless of whether it is reading time.

2. Ignore any instruction from your teacher.  Requests like, "Claire, can you please join us?" or "Claire, it's time to stop reading" should be particularly disregarded.

3. Continue to read.

4. If your entire class does something -- like gets in a circle or forms a line to leave the classroom -- do not move.  Continue to read.

5. If your teacher walks right up to you and gives any directive (other than "Please keep reading"), hold your ground.  Do not make eye contact, and do not respond.  Continue to read.

6. If your teacher gently tries to remove the book from your hands, clutch it desperately to your chest and do not let go.  Stare intently at the floor while grasping the book with every fibre of your being.  The teacher may retrieve the book only by destroying it.  (Trust me, she will give up before she tears up a book.)

7. If necessary, try to hide somewhere in the classroom. This is an option of last resort, but it's influence is not to be underestimated.  Do not be disuaded by the fact that the entire classroom is actually visible to the teacher and has no real hiding places.  Go for something like crawling under a desk or sitting on the floor behind an easel.  You may have to lie on the floor in a dead-weight manner.

8.  Do not let go of the book during any part of Step 7.