Of People and Penguins

Claire:  "Did you know that all mammal groups have homosexual members, but that humans are the only mammals that display homophobia?"

Jane:  "What does that mean?"

Claire:  "You know, like animals have couples with two males or two females.  But only in humans do other members of the group have any kind of problem with it."

Jane:  "Oh, like the penguins that have two dads?  But none of the other penguins care?"

Claire:  "Yes, exactly."

Margot: "Wait, WHAT?  Penguins are both male and female?!"

Everyone:  [silence]

Claire:  "Homosexual, Margot.  Not hermaphrodite."

Explain This

Jane recently borrowed a purse from me.  When I got it back, these items were inside.  I'm really not sure what to make of this.

You've Got to Be Kidding

I received this email from Margot (via her Nook).  Guess what?  NO.

And I strongly suspect that "we" got the first book during the evening when Margot got ahold of the Barnes & Noble password and went on an unauthorized book buying spree.

On Basketball

Me: "Guess which team your basketball game is against this weekend?"
Claire: "Which?"
Me: "Margot and Jane's.  But of course you can't play because of the broken finger."
Claire: "Yeah, that's too bad."
Me:"Wait, did you want to play against your sisters?"
Claire: "Yes. I want to smite them."
[pause]
Claire: "Well, I don't want to smite Jane, since it's her first year.  But I do want to smite Margot."
Me: [Silence]
Claire: "Then next year, I will smite them both."

America's Finest News Source

We were at a cafe recently where the girls discovered paper copies of The Onion. Don and I began talking about about some of our favorite Onion stories from years past, some of which required a bit of context-setting (e.g., that Balkan words have few vowels).

Don:  "So, the headline was Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia."
Claire: "Ok, that is HILARIOUS."
Margot: "Wait, what? He deployed his bowels???"

Girls

Dear mothers of girls:

Here's Jane's self-portrait and self-description from a "We Are America" project that her 2nd grade class did. This is what we're going for, right?

Every now and then, my daughters do something like this, and I feel like this parenting thing is working out just fine.

The Art of Persusion, Part II

Margot continues to hone her persuasive writing skills. I found this note on my desk this morning:

Grandma!

Jane:  "Mom, is Grandma retired?"

Me:  "No, she still has her same job."

Jane: "Oh, good.  I love visiting her work."

Jane (whispering to self):  "Yeah, Grandma!  Still going strong!!"

Um, Thanks?

The other day, Claire sent me two items, neither of which included any explanatory text.  Make of them what you will:

Item 1:

On Fri, Oct 25, 2013 at 6:30 AM, Claire wrote:

Part Of Our World (@PartOfOurWorld) tweeted at 10:00 PM on Thu, Oct 24, 2013:

Stress Relieving Foods:
-Bananas 
-Pasta 
-Almonds 
-Grapes 
-Green Tea 
-Oatmeal 
-Chocolate 
-Water melon
-Cornflakes 
-Tuna

(https://twitter.com/PartOfOurWorld/status/393557588182192128)

Item 2:

This is How We Learn

Jane to her friend:  "Hey, Z, do you raise your hand very much in class?"

Z:  "No, not too much."

Jane:  "Yeah, me neither."

Me:  "Why don't you raise your hand very much in class?"

Jane:  "I just prefer to listen to everyone else and learn from their mistakes."