Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Truth About Sex

Jane has recently taken a strong interest in our go-to birds-and-bees book, book "It's So Amazing." We were sitting in the kitchen the other morning when the following exchange ensued:

Jane: "Wait, Mommy! Dad sexed you THREE TIMES??"
Me: "Um, yes."
Jane: "And that's how you got three kids."
Me: "Yes."
Jane: "When I get a husband, I am going to ask him if he'll sex ME three times. I wonder if he will."
Me: "I'm sure he won't mind."
Jane: "Right.  Because he will really want the three kids."

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Mermaids (Again)

Last year for Don's birthday, Claire chose this tasteful mermaid bottle opener. I'm still not really sure why I allowed her to get it - I blame one of my many parenting defects.  The other night, Jane whose mermaid obsession continues, had been staring intently at the bottle opener.  She suddenly looked up.

Jane: "Dad - I know why Claire got you that mermaid bottle opener!"
Don: "Why?"
Jane: "Well, she knew that you needed to open wine."
Don:  "Okay."
Jane: "AND, she noticed that it had big, pointy, puffed-out boobs."

Well, that about sums it up.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Share, Share Alike (Or Not)

The other day I walked into Margot's room and noticed a Polly Pocket mermaid tail lying on the floor.

Me:  "Margot, whose is this?  Jane has been looking for a Polly Pocket mermaid tail."

Margot:  "Oh, that's mine.  Jane has been talking about it because she has an Ariel Polly Pocket, but she lost the tail - so she can't use it as a mermaid.  You know how she's obsessed with mermaids."

Me: [nodding]

Margot:  "Actually . . . I'm not really using it so much.  And Jane does love mermaids, and she does really, really want a tail for her Ariel Polly Pocket . . ."

Me:  [waiting]

Margot:  "So . . . too bad for her.  It's mine."

Thursday, February 2, 2012

L&D, Mermaid-Style

Jane is currently obsessed with mermaids.  Fortunately, her older sister has been able to answer important mermaid-related questions, such as the following:

Jane:  "How do mermaids have babies?" 

Margot:  "They puke them up.  Since, you know . . . they can't open their legs." 

Jane:  [silence] 

Margot:  "But sometimes they just burp up a fish."