Monday, June 30, 2008

Dialogue with a Two-Year-Old

Margot: "Jane, you're so cute!"
Jane: "I not cute."
Margot: "Cutie, you're such a beautiful cutie!"
Jane: "I not beyoueeful. You beyoueeful."
Margot: "Jane! I'm saying something nice to you."
Jane: "No, that's not nice. I don't like that!"
Margot: "Jane, you don't even know what you are talking about."
Jane: "No, you don't."
Margot: "Jane! That doesn't make sense!"
Jane: "No, I'm not."
Margot: "JANE!! Stop it."
Jane: "No, you stop it."
Margot: "Jane, I'm four -- you are only two. You have to listen to me."
Jane: "Nooo . . . you are not four."
Margot: "Yes, I am!! You're only two."
Jane: "I not two."
Margot: "Yes, you are two!!"
Jane: "No. I am twenty-four."
Margot: "And, you sleep in a crib. I sleep in a big girl bed."
Jane: "No. I don't sleep in a crib."
Margot (now apoplectic): "You do!! Yes you do sleep in a crib!"
Jane: "No. I sleep in a big girl bed. You sleep in a crib."

Note: (anyone who knew my sister, Karen, in her childhood years will recognize this discussion as a more elaborate rendition of "It takes one to be one.")